A Message to Mr. and Mrs. Jewel and Jean Kelly. Of Plano

I know you have an adjustable rate mortgage loan and you are seeking a fixed rate. I know that 2.5 other million ARM holders should be doing the same thing. But please go back to that application you filled out at six a.m. this morning and correct the phone numbers. Maybe you wrote “214″ instead of “972″. Maybe you simply transposed two numbers — I am occasionally dyslexic. But I have received five — maybe six calls just this morning and I am not in the market for a mortgage. Not yet. I do not live at 5837 Broadwell Street in Plano. I am not Mr. or Mrs. Kelly. And if I’m getting all your mortgage calls, you aren’t. And I can feel the heat from your ARM as it gets ready to swell up and take an even bigger chunk out of of your life, voracious serpent that it is.